Chastity is an interesting sexual activity. It’s odd in the sense that most other sexual activities promote orgasm and sexual release, whereas chastity is a form of sexual play which expressly prohibits orgasms. That’s not to say that the prevention of orgasm and sexual release is not sexual in nature, quite the opposite really, but when most other sexual devices such as male vibrators and anal toys and activities go out of their way to obtain, give and even demand orgasm, chastity does not.
So you’re here reading this article on the beginners guide to male chastity. You might be a male that is interested in chastity, you might be a partner to someone that wants to experience chastity, or maybe you’re reading this page because you want your partner to be in a chastity device. Whatever the reason is, whoever you are, you’re certainly going to find your answers here. Fetishes and kinks aren’t like normal sex – you can’t always just jump straight into it as there are a myriad of considerations that you need to understand. People tend to jump onto these different practices with very little understanding of the practice and with no idea what to expect, or the best way to approach the situation is. This guide has been written by a male that loves chastity, adores it, and couldn’t imagine life without it. I’ve been wearing chastity devices for a number of years now and I have accumulated over half a dozen devices for different aesthetics, purposes and fun. Over this time I have developed a wide knowledge base, and that’s my plan today – to share it with you as you read through this.
Things To Consider For Male Chastity
1. Can You Go Without Orgasms?
One of the considerations that people often forget when they first lock themselves up in a chastity device, is that they assume that they can handle both the aspect of orgasm denial and chastity in one go. This might sound a little confusing, since the point of a chastity device is to prevent orgasms, but the denial of orgasms actively affects the mind. Let’s separate this idea for a moment – the idea of chastity is to give control of your orgasms to someone else. They may choose to deny your orgasms, or they may choose to release you but only when they see fit. In this sense, orgasm denial is a very different aspect to handing control of your sex and sexuality to someone else.
It might seem alluring, erotic and tempting to have your first orgasm denial whilst locked in a chastity device, but the harsh reality is that it’s not pleasant and it can be very tough on the mind. Introduce the changes one at a time, instead of trying to fit an all in one glove over your genitals. Coping with a chastity device is quite a big change in of itself, and if you’re becoming distracted by your constant desire to orgasm then it’s certainly not going to make the adjustment period any easier. If you can, try denying yourself orgasms for a period of a few days. Even if you’ve never stopped masturbating in your life before, you should be easily able to make it to a week. Once you have accomplished this, several times, and are accustomed to the feeling of being continually horny – then you are ready to try an actual chastity device.
2. Considerations On Size.
When you first start out in male chastity – you’re not really sure what to expect. You might have read things and seen things, but there’s very little scope in order to provide you with what you might feel. For that reason, there’s a lot of people when they first start out into chastity that will buy a chastity toy that’s way too big, or way too small. Ever heard of that saying that you never go shopping when you’re hungry? The samecan be said for shopping for sex toys as well. Never go shopping when you’re horny or you might end up with a male vibrator that’s too big, or a chastity cage that’s too damn small. The actual sizing up for a cage can be quite complicated – so we’ll cover that in its own article where we detail how to get the right sized chastity cage.
3. Considerations On The Style Of The Device.
Did you know that there are a variety of different styles of cock cages on the market? If you didn’t, then did you seriously just consider going out and buying one without knowing the types of devices? Since it’s your first one – most people will generally buy a typical ball trap device. Ball trap styles are the most common and popular types of chastity devices, as the chastity belts with full lock up plates are not only costly, but they’re cumbersome as well. So which is the device for you? It depends on a few things really – but one of the most important things to consider is your lifestyle and the relationship that you have to your key holder. Some devices will be closed and a little more solid than others – and these will require removal every few days to ensure that you have access to cleaning the parts that you might have missed. Enclosed devices, or devices with solid plating as opposed to being open and airy are suitable to wear for a few days at a time so long as you’re completely cleaning yourself in the shower. Unfortunately, unlike more open designs, there are limitations to the length of time that you can wear them without removing them for an in-depth clean. Steel devices, are usually chrome plated, and they will rust over time however the benefit of them being that they are relatively cheap. Stainless steel sex toys won’t rust but they can be expensive with one of the most expensive materials being used is titanium. To begin with you might opt for a light and airy device, but there are actually several people who recommend a closed off device for your first one. This is with the assumption that you have a physically present key holder, and not an online one.
4. Is Your Skin Ready?
Now this is something that not a lot of people consider at all. There’s a lot of people who will go out there, buy a chastity device, put it straight on and be demanding that they’re taking it off before they go to sleep. Buying a chastity device and expecting it to work with no problems, is like buying a large inflatable dildo and trying to throw it up your ass with no lubricant. It’s just not going to happen. Preparation will be your best friend, and that is also true with chastity. I hear you asking yourself, what do I need to prepare for? Well, there’s several things that you will need to prepare yourself for, before you can even consider putting on a male chastity device.
Firstly, you will need to trim. We say trim, don’t take that to mean as shave. Sure, it look hot as hell to have smooth skin underneath a chastity device, but if you’re just exploring chastity for the first time there’s going to be irritation if you’re completely smooth as you just won’t be used to the ring rubbing against your skin. Cropped, neatly trimmed hair will not only prevent the hair from being tangled up in the device, but you’ll find that the little bit of hair that is left will be providing you with a small amount of protection from the back ring.
You might also want to consider using lubricant when you put the ring on. Applying a small amount of lubricant will allow the cock cage to move freely as needed. If the cage can’t move, then there will be a small part of skin underneath the ring which will be unable to breathe. Applying lubricant, and reapplying when necessary is simply good practice, especially if your device is made of a grippy material such as silicone.
5. First Time Is A Short Time
You’ve gotten your device home, unwrapped it and your first desire is to put it on, throw away the key or give it to your key holder. Don’t do this. You’ll need to become accustomed to wearing the device for short periods of time and you’ll basically need to ease yourself into it. Ignore your fantasies, ignore your dreams and put them on hold for the moment. The reality is that you will definitely need some time with the device yourself to make sure that it’s the right fit and that it’s comfortable and easy to wear. Start off by wearing the device at home for periods of an hour or so. Then take it off, massage the skin and inspect yourself. Are there any cuts, bruises, or numbing effects? Was the device comfortable to wear and not overly restricting? Regularly assess how you’re feeling when you first put on the device. If there’s any extended period of pain, or numbing then you need to take off the device immediately and identify the cause.
Putting on the device the first time might be difficult. Overcome with your fantasies, arousal and general horniness your dick might not cooperate and will remain hard when you first try and lock it up. Make sure that you are calm, and that you’re flaccid before putting on the device and locking it up. Check the ring sizes and adjust if necessary, if you have purchased a device with multiple rings. Once you have successfully chosen the right sized ring, and have worn it in periods of an hour or so, then you can slowly increase the time that you are spending wearing the device. If you’ve managed to wear the cage for several hours and found that there were no problems, then you can increase it to an entire day. When first starting out, make sure that you keep some lubricant handy as you might need to reapply the first few days when wearing it, and make sure that you’re carrying a spare emergency key to be used only when necessary. Once you can make it through the whole day, then you can move on to the next stage. For the moment, make sure that you’re taking it off before going to bed.
6. Don’t Sleep With It On In The Beginning
Once you have managed to go for several days with no issues, or longer depending on your ability, then you can try wearing it overnight. Make no mistakes, learning to sleep with a chastity device is probably one of the hardest things that you’re going to need to learn how to do. Your body will be continually trying to get erections, and owing to the idea that you’ll be asleep this will be a very difficult adjustment period. Apply a small amount of lubricant before heading to bed, and if absolutely necessary and you’re allowed, the first few times you might want to try and masturbate. Now this isn’t standard practice, but when you’re trying to acclimatise to the idea of being locked up at night, it might help make the situation to be a little more bearable. The orgasm before sleeping will help alleviate the erections at night, despite this even if you have orgasmed just before going to sleep – then it still doesn’t guarantee an easy night’s sleep. So if possible, try to do this on a Friday night or the weekend to make it a little easier.
You might find yourself waking up during the night. This is normal. Rather than just lying there – try and walk around and even empty your bladder if you can. Walking around and getting the blood flowing elsewhere is going to do a lot more good than just laying in bed hoping that it will go away, and once you’re walking around you’ll find that it’ll go back down in no time.
7. Keep A Spare Key
The thought of the key dangling around your key holders neck, ankle or wherever they choose to put it might be alluring. It might be arousing as all hell and that could be the very reason you entered into chastity to begin with. However, you will need a spare key in the beginning or at the very least have a method of breaking out in case of an emergency. You might choose to use plastic serial coded locks, or you might want to leave a spare key in a secure location. Having a spare key in the family safe or behind a coded device might not always be the best idea. If your partner is in a meeting or otherwise unavailable – then it could be an awkward experience. An idea that might be useful in the beginning is to keep the spare key in an envelope, and have the key holder sign it for an extra piece of security. Keeping that envelope with you and you will never be in danger. Might sound a little odd, but especially when you’re first starting out, keeping a spare key handy is the best way in moving forward.
8. Taking Your Time
You might take to your new toy like a duck in water. Many people, once they get their hands on a device, are abundantly keen to get started. Just don’t give in. Keep pushing forward with your new toy, and in time you will become adjusted to it. But wearing it 24/7 the minute it gets out of the box isn’t necessarily the best of ideas.
9. Enjoying Your Caged Time
The point of chastity is to have fun. Enjoy your time as a caged playmate. You might find that you’re enjoying it from the second that they’re putting it on. Others might find that they’ll enjoy it better over time. When I first started wearing chastity devices, all I could think about was being aroused, and teased. Now, I’m not so fussed on being teased, and often I’m not even a fan of ejaculating. I love the feeling and sensation that I get after a few weeks of being locked up in a cage.
10. Relinquish Control Of The Key
This sounds obvious. I know it does. But people don’t like eventually giving up the power to the key. This is where the fun really begins. They might be nervous, or they might not want to give someone that level of control – but it is something that definitely needs to be done in order to truly enjoy chastity.