What Does Being A Chastity Key Holder Mean?
Often when we think about male chastity – we consider the image of a completely subdued and submissive male being ruled by his sexual partner. Whilst some might play male chastity in this way – it’s not always the case. This kind of play involves the key holder as being a person who is in complete control, cares only for themselves and their own pleasure and satisfaction. The male, who is in a chastity cage, therefore exists to serve every one of his key holders pleasures and sexual deviances. This is one of the games that some people play with chastity devices, but it’s certainly not how everyone plays. The roles of the key holder in male chastity are important, and not something that everyone might understand. This is a responsibility rehashing.
Chastity is as much about the male being caged up as it is about the key holder. The male sees his fantasy as being fulfilled, that he is no longer able to please himself, and the idea of being “controlled” and dominated in that way arouses him – to him the teasing and denial of his orgasms is seen as ways to improve the passion in the relationship. A male in a chastity device could be a very dominating male, he could take care of his sexual partner in every other aspect such as financially, emotionally, be a loving a doting father and make the decisions for the household. Chastity devices simply means that he no longer has sexual freedom. Some people might find this emasculating, as it goes against the very idea of being a male. However, some people might find that very arousing, the idea that their maleness is in control of someone else. It sounds odd, but the psychological aspect of male chastity is the most alluring and arousing part of it. Why do I say this? Because if you’re going to be a key holder then you need to understand what is going through their minds, and why they’re so interested in male chastity, understanding their motivations behind it will be key to unlocking the best relationship out of this.
WHAT IS A CHASTITY KEY HOLDER?
A key holder when it comes to chastity is defined very simply: it is the individual which physically possesses the keys to the chastity cage. The key holder possesses the power to unlock the chastised male’s cage and allow him the ability to experience an orgasm. We’re not going to say to limit his sexual pleasure because there are an abundance of things that you could do which can sexually stimulate him, and that’s even without the ability to get a hard on. Anal stimulation, edging and teasing are just some of the ways that a caged male can be sexually stimulated. The key holder determines when he ejaculates. But it’s more than that.
One of the issues that many people become confused about when it comes to male chastity is that some people do not understand why a male would want less of a sex life. This is a common misconception with the reality being that he actually wants more from his sex life. It’s a common mistake to make with new key holders because their inexperience might lead them to thinking that it’s okay to lock him up and leave him. This is one of the biggest issues with new relationships concerning chastity. The solution is communication – the male isn’t clear in what he’s offering or needing and it’s also not very clear as to what he expects. In time, when these aren’t being met then the pressure is placed upon the key holder to meet expectations that haven’t been set out. If you’re a new key holder, it might seem as a buzz kill but it’s very important to talk about the expectations that you both have. If you want to be sexually rewarded for his time spent in a cage, then that needs to be made clear. If he wants to be caged up, and then then expects to work for his freedom, then he needs to make that clear as well. Many people walk into a chastity relationship without forming such expectations and it quickly deteriorates into a relationship where needs, desires and fantasies aren’t being met. It is the responsibility of both of you to ensure that you understand what each other is expecting out of a chastity relationship.
ADVICE FOR CHASTITY KEY HOLDERS
We’ll rehash this idea in three important pieces of advice.
1. For the one bringing up the chastity device – it might be considered an old fantasy. You might have researched it, you might have spent considerable amounts of time learning and familiarising yourself with it all. Your partner hasn’t had this opportunity. Until they’ve had some time to familiarise themselves with the idea, and become accustomed to playing the game then they’re not going to have a clue as to what is expected of them. Time and patience is essential.
2. If one of your reasons for entering into chastity is that you feel that your sex life has become a little stale, then you need to acknowledge that something has to push you in the right direction. If the ultimate fantasy is to be teased, and your partner hasn’t been teasing you before this moment then you need to tell that that that is what you want and what you’re expecting out of this. Orgasm denial is a great couple’s game to improve sex. Sounds odd, but trust me, it’s effective.
3. Realistically, it’s almost certain that that you or your partner has never been involved in male chastity before. Maybe this is your first time for both of you. So, with that in mind you’re both considered to be new and it is unrealistic to expect that everything is magically perfect from the get go. Be prepared to talk about it, be prepared to try new things and definitely be prepared to make mistakes.
As a key holder you hold a lot of power. You are literally and physically in control of someone else’s dick. A male in a chastity device cannot get an erection. They can’t jerk off. Even their toilet habits will change as they might find it difficult to pee standing up. He isn’t just wearing the device when you’re around – he might be wearing it constantly a physical and constant reminder that his orgasms are owned by someone else. As I mentioned earlier, this is not just a physical activity, but it’s very psychological.
Being a key holder you are might be expected to create rules. Rules are a simple way to enforce the chastity, reinforce trust, and to devise a suitable punishment for when there are infractions to the rules. Your rules might be simple; in the sense that he has to earn freedom by doing household chores, or that he is allowed to take the cage off after x amount of days.
They might be more complex. He must make you orgasm x amount of times before he is released, and if the sexual activity wasn’t good enough or there wasn’t enough effort then x amount of days are added to his cage time. Similarly, if the towels aren’t folded up to your liking he might be spanked, or have his caged sentence increase. Punishments and rules are up to the individual couple and depends on how far or in depth you want to play the game with.
Just keep the following in mind: Rules can be tiring for the key holder. Rules need to not only be enforced, but they also need to be monitored as well. Setting up rules and punishments that you simply do not have time for, or cannot reasonably expect will diminish the relationship and the joy that you are both getting out of chastity play. So, keep it simple and keep it realistic to your relative lifestyles and expectations.