Male Chastity Guide For Key Holders
If you’re new to chastity devices, then you might want to read the beginners guide to male chastity before you start with this one, as that article will provide you with some essential background information that you’re going to need before you get to this point.
Chastity sounds strange, that’s been mentioned several times throughout this website. Because it is in a way. The idea of locking one’s penis in a cage seems counter intuitive. Regardless, getting started with this idea can be difficult. Most of the articles on this website have been geared towards the chastised male, but if you’re reading this you’re most likely going to be a potential key holder, or someone whose partner has expressed an interest in male chastity. It’s not as easy as bringing in an affordable luxury vibrator into the bedroom, This guide will provide you with some of the answers as to how to get your partner locked up and in a cage. If you’re someone who wants to put their partner into a cage, then you might also benefit from understanding how to introduce kink into a relationship as well.
In the case of male chastity, or having a partner lock them up – you’ll find that there’s a lot of misinformation on the internet. Most of such guides are written as a fantasy in a way from the perspective of a single male that looks to be placed in a chastity cage, and really has no relevance to the chastity lifestyle. Potential key holders might become disillusioned by the complex scenarios, and the requirements that the caged partners seemingly expect and thus they might miss out on a valuable and fun opportunity to engage in chastity play because they’ve been intimidated by such fantasies. The reality is, that most couples that engage in chastity play find it a rewarding and enriching experience for both partners. The practice of chastity can be as easy or as complex as you want to make it.
GETTING STARTED IN MALE CHASTITY
If your partner has brought it up, then the chances are high that they’ve spent a lot of time researching up on it. They might have seen it in an adult film, or randomly come across it on their website searches, and as such they’ve had a considerable amount of time to consider the fantasy of being caged up. Or it might be you that has spent the time researching and looking up male chastity. In either case, the partner that has done the majority of the research has had dtime to come up with various expectations that they’d like from male chastity. If it is you that has brought it up, then it might stem from a desire to be more in tune with your partner, male chastity gives them a reason to refocus their sexual energy back onto pleasing you, and some males might become either sexually subservient, or more in tune with you, your emotions and your needs. As such, you might be walking into this with the expectation that your caged partner will focus more attention on you. Or, your partner might have recommended this page for you to read in the hope that you will come to an understanding about male chastity.
Before we continue – let’s get something clear. Male chastity enriches and benefits both partners, so if either of you has unrealistic or perhaps a little self-motivated reasoning for male chastity then you might need to reconsider your approach and whether male chastity is precisely what you’re looking for.
Virtually all fantasies about male chastity have the same thing in common, that is the surrendering of sexual control to their partner, the key holder. If the term key holder is a new word for you, its definition is pretty simple. It is the person who physically holds the keys and the power of release for the male that is in a chastity device.
Most of the time, the male might have spent far too much time on the consideration of male chastity and the surrender that occurs and as such might have become confused a whole different range of fantasies under a single sexual umbrella. Most of the fantasies that occur in this regard are primarily geared around what happens after he is locked up. Some of the more popular fantasies might include:
– Through the simple act of locking him up he will become primarily submissive and spend the majority of his time as an obedient individual who exists only to serve and please his key holder. In such fantasies there is some magical component that happens the second after you have caged his penis that instantly transforms him and his behaviour. Whilst this might be true for some males and couples out there who really like the idea of this fantasy, it’s a little unrealistic. Yes, people might change over time as a result of being caged up, but that is more to do with the science with male hormones and the level of hormones before, during and after ejaculation. Levels of which are denied to the male, when he is unable to climax. Padlocking a male does not instantly transform him. Regardless, the underlying component of this fantasy is a need and desire to surrender ones control to a key holder, so that they can perform duties, tasks and even sexual favours in the hopes of pleasing the key holder enough that they may get a sexual release. It’s about a constant state of tease and denial, and the hope that he may earn such a release. To put it more simply, this is an expression at the fundamental level that is asking you to take on more sexual initiative within the relationship.
– Another fantasy might involve being caged to atone for ones sins or transgressions. It might have been infidelity, or secretly masturbating which put undue sexual pressure on the relationship, a domestic infraction or some other sin. The fantasy lies in the male being caged to provide atonement for the sin. In this case, by surrendering control of his penis and masculinity he is demonstrating utter devotion and a desire to be forgiven for the sin. With his penis locked up and in control of someone else, he can prove the devotion and level of commitment that he has to his sexual partner. In turn, there’s an element of security that the key holder will get from possessing the key, and understand that their partner is going to get in any other form of trouble any time soon. For the most part, this type of fantasy can work extremely well. However, there is a trick to it. For it to work, forgiveness must be given before the cage is put on. Chastity is not going to work in the same way if he is under some form of severe punishment and this sees the activity as often becoming unnecessarily cruel. Chastity in this fantasy should never be for revenge, or jealousy.
– Another fantasy might see the chastity as actually being used as a form of punishment when the male has done something ‘bad’. The cage becomes a punishment and he has to wear it for a period of time that is equal to the crime that he has committed. Further infractions might increase the time, and good behaviour and favours might decrease the time. In many of the fantasies that are centred around this, the punishment can be given for even the most minor of infractions. A lot of people play chastity in this fashion, and the chances of a misbehaving boy being locked up for a long time are both highly arousing and common.
– The fantasy about female domination. This fantasy sees the penis as being removed from the male. It is the key holder’s toy – to do with what they will and the key holder will declare ownership of the penis by locking it up. If, and when he gets to experience both sexual pleasure and or orgasm and ejaculation are entirely up to the whimsical mind of the key holder.
There are other possibilities to these fantasies and a myriad of variations, but generally one or more of these fantasies might be how you or he are thinking about male chastity. The big question that you need to ask yourself is this one; does locking him up mean that you are engaging with, and playing out, one of this fantasies? That’s one of the reasons that many people balk at becoming a chastity key holder. They might feel that it is all about the caged male, and there’s not much in it for them. True, being a key holder contains various responsibilities, but a proper chastity relationship will both enrich and benefit both partners.
HOW TO MAKE YOUR CHASTITY FANTASY REAL
You’re now familiar with the types of fantasies that males are interested in when it comes to chastity devices, we can begin to explore the reality of the devices. First of all it is important to recognise that every single chastity fantasy requires and involves the surrendering of sexual control. Meaning, that your partner wants you to call the shots. They’re interested in the specific idea of you controlling the sexual direction of the relationship. From there, the first step should be a conversation about chastity. This conversation is where you might want to discuss your expectations and write them down, agree on them and form a mutual understanding, without this understanding there’s going to be a lot of mistakes and there’s a high chance of it falling apart. Some people might go so far as to write down and create a chastity contract. A contract will be a written agreement on the rules that you’re both going to adhere to, what the idea of chastity means to the relationship. It might have in it how long of a time he has to serve between being unlocked, it might involve things he needs to do to earn his release, and it will contain your obligations and expectations as being the key holder.
Creating a document isn’t for everyone. Some people like the idea, and other people might consider it to be too formal. At the very least you need to have a discussion in order to discuss each other’s expectations. This is very important. It’s especially important that mental health is acknowledged and that the idea and fantasy of chastity not take over your relationship. In order to avoid such an event from occurring we have created a list of in depth suggestions that you might want to consider. It’s not an exhaustive list, but it is a comprehensive and insightful list.